Posts Tagged ‘relationship therapist’
Think about it. Where and when do people learn about communication? It is not taught in school, parents aren’t provided classes so that they can teach its grammar to their children, teachers don’t find it in their course syllabus, there is no certificate program. Good communication, however, is the foundation of all relationship. Without it, there are great misunderstandings, inaccurate assumptions and no ways to negotiate differences. No wonder people have difficulty with it!
Communication starts with knowing and accepting oneself; ones feelings, desires, needs, inclinations. Understanding that no two people are precisely alike is also important. No two people have the same likes, opinions and viewpoints on things even if they share quite a few. Being able to accept those differences is imperative. Then finding ways of negotiating those differences ensure a good outcome.
Too often, people can stumble over obstacles in achieving good communication. Blame and judgment cause great harm. Communication can not be based on being right or hurting the other. Instead it must be based on wanting to understand and support the other. Good communication can be achieved by people being able to hear the other regardless of whether there is agreement. Understanding that there is no “right” way to think or behave, instead realizing that there are countless valid ways of thinking and behaving.
Learning how to speak for only oneself is critical for communication. Too often people think they know what the other person thinks, or worse, what’s best for them. It is important to learn to listen to the other, not speak for them.
This can all be extremely elusive and seem impossible to achieve. For this very reason, the professional guidance of a therapist can help couples learn the art of communication. There are very real tools people can learn that will increase ability to listen and speak well. Counseling helps people and couples learn the necessary skills to garner mutual respect, care and understanding.
If life were like the movies, we could expect partnership to make us live happily ever after. Movies and societal expectation purports that if two people love each other, it will work out. Many loving couples find themselves in couple’s counseling because the art of relationship requires more than a feeling of love.
As with life itself, relationships develop, grow and go through different stages. The challenges and joys of first meeting and joining are very different than when partners make growing commitments to one another. Life inherently brings both change and challenge such as job changes or losses, raising children, aging parents, financial strains and much more. Each stage or challenge can be difficult and challenging. There may have been nothing in life that has prepared a couple for these challenges.
People also bring all their life experiences into their relationship. These include a person’s strengths as well as any old hurt or thing that has not gone well. Relationship is fertile ground that brings to the surface old hurts and issues previously unresolved. With understanding and some effort relationship can also be a wonderful place to bring healing and resolution to those old hurts.
Communication between people is not something that our educational system and culture teach much about. Couples entering therapy often must learn ways of fully listening to one another, even when opinions and beliefs diverge. There may be differences between people that may seem insurmountable. Listening well, finding ways to validate each person’s thoughts, feelings and needs is critical regardless of whether both people agree. Then finding positive ways to work together incorporating each person’s feelings and needs is important and possible.
Gay, lesbian, queer and transgender couples can also have the added stress of homophobia. If a couple is closeted or experiences homophobia either internally or from family, friends or co-workers, this puts pressure on the couple. How each couple manages this pressure can make an enormous difference in terms of their well being. Relationships with the outside world directly impacts couples. Partnerships in isolation will have a harder time than those with support.
Upon entering couples therapy people can feel that because they have problems, their relationship is has failed or headed towards ruin. In fact, as therapists we are sure that relationships are hard for nearly everyone. With openness, courage and willingness to take a risk, the growth potential is enormous. Deepening closeness, growing communication and fulfillment is the goal of couples counseling.
- Celebrating Unity and Diversity — Co-sponsored two New
England-wide conferences, providing speakers, workshops and entertainment for more than 400 people. - Safe Sex Workshops
- Detoxing Silence — A conference for therapists to help
understand the root causes of substance abuse among gay and lesbian adolescents and adults. - The Joy of Lesbian Sex — A workshop for lesbians
- Out Now Youth Group of Springfield — LifeCourse founded
and ran this group for several years. - Chemical Addiction Recovery Program
- Groups
- Lesbian Therapy Groups
- Gay Men’s Therapy Groups
- Exploring Your Sexual Orientation Group
- Breaking Up Group
- Lesbian Relationships Group
- Coming Out Groups
- Bisexual Women’s Therapy Group
- Lesbian ACOA Therapy Group
- Transgender Support and Therapy Group
Call or email us for more information or to set up an appointment.
If you need help knowing what to do, or if you need guidance in finding a productive direction with a problem or life issue, ask a professional therapist!
Of course we cannot solve your problems immediately on this website, nor replace therapy, but we can do our best to help you consider different perspectives and find a new direction.
We do offer some perspective free of charge.
Just ask us!
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There are many reasons you may wish to talk to a gay, lesbian or transgender therapist over the phone rather than meeting in person. Some include:
• Where You Live – If you live in a location where LGBT psychotherapists are not available
• Anonymity – There are many reasons some people need or prefer not running the risk of having other people see you enter a psychotherapy office or if you prefer not meeting face to face
• Easy access/Convenience – Scheduling problems, long drives, busy lives makes phone therapy more accessible
• Homebound – If you are not well enough to travel to another location
All of LifeCourse Counseling Center’s therapists are licensed professional psychotherapists. Our services are strictly confidential. Please see our “Individual Psychotherapy” Page to read about our philosophy of helping people.
Please call or email us for more information or to set up an appointment.
Telephone consultation is a professional psychotherapeutic service. Under no circumstances will we participate in any sexual interaction. Should this situation arise, the appointment will be immediately terminated and no refunds will be given.
Relationships are hard! Whether couples are newly together or have been together for years, each stage presents its own challenges.
Learning to listen deeply and communicate clearly and honestly is vitally important. So is being able to ask for what you need, learning to disagree and learning to tolerate your differences. Sometimes there are tensions concerning who gets their way.
There can be life crises, family issues, illnesses, financial challenges, children to raise, and so much more.
Learning to listen and negotiate takes time, practice, effort and patience. Speaking with a professionally trained therapist can help with all this and more. Couples therapy can make a huge difference.
While the office is located in Northampton, LifeCourse’s individual therapy services are easily accessible to people living in Springfield, Greenfield, the Brattleboro Vt area, Amherst and surrounding areas of the Pioneer Valley of Western Massachusetts. Telephone and skype appointments are also available.
Call or email us for more information or to set up an appointment.